I'll spill my heart for you... (sexiety) wrote,
I'll spill my heart for you...

so confused

I really don't know where to start...
nothing seems to be going right.. it's just all wrong and it feels as if im losing everything.
i spose even if i didnt message he wouldnt know anyway, he doesnt wait up like he used to.. or just doesnt feel the need to message back a simple okay i love you sleep tight... again like he used to...
my hearts torn into a million pieces and im puttin on this whole act as if im okay.
i dont know whetheer to break up, go on a break or stay because either way i know im not happy...
breaking up will only result in losing him for good.. and i cant stand that because hes so much apart of my life.. with out him im just not me anymore... but lately it feels like im missing something.
i miss the guy who was all cute and affectionate.. it kills me because i know ive changed... but hes changed too.. and in a way it doesnt feel like we are for each other anymore..
my hearts breaking just saying all this..
i miss him everyday and the way we used to be.. i never used to care when i saw couples holding hands cuddling.. but now that i know were not that it makes me so sad, it almost feels like were only friends, friends who have sex, friends who hook up.. it hurts.. because we have never been simply just friends.
i want to cry because it feels as if im trying so hard to makes something well when i already no that its just not meant to be.
i love him. i do.
but i think were both feeling the same thing.. and its one of those things that just feel like it will eventually come to an end no matter how hard you try.
someone who hurt me once said that..
i hate saying it.. but i think i understand it now
i have grown being in this relationship... but at the same time i feel we have grown up and apart instead of together..
i miss the way it used to be
i miss him
i miss us
i wish it was just better
i wish i never screwed up
i just wish things were different

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